We appear to be living in turbulent times. Indeed, many of my clients have reported feeling despair and frustration about the dark metaphorical clouds they see gathering about us. But I, for one, believe there is light behind the gloom…

It’s only natural to crave some certainty in world affairs – as well as our personal lives. But if our home world is challenging enough, the problems of the wider one often seem beyond our influence. The policies of our councils, governments and nations are often at odds with our beliefs whatever we voted. In recent times, political strife has brewed up a witch’s cauldron of polarising and antagonistic views. While the support of others can instil a sense of togetherness, it can make enemies of those not sharing our beliefs. Seeing things in black and white terms – as right or wrong – can be dangerously divisive.

Of late, frustration has been bursting out of our TV sets and onto the streets. While Brexit inches towards an unknown conclusion, our nation’s future allegedly hangs in the balance. Foreign news bulletins seem to carry heavier doses of death, doom, and disaster. Dictatorships, hate speech, fake news, and intolerance are growth industries. Harmless-sounding words like Europe, May, Trump, Democracy, Boris and Environment can turn gentle souls into raging monsters and split once peaceful communities. The simmering pot of troubles seems to be spilling over and the persistent drip of negativity can feel like a water torture that has worn down our defences…

Looking on the bright side

If we can’t control the external world, how can we control our happiness?

My inclination is for an optimistic take on events, but there are good arguments supporting both an optimistic and pessimistic viewpoint (see link below). For me, a better understanding of all the perspectives can be a valuable way of reducing my frustration towards those who think differently. Also by remembering that extreme views are not representative of the majority.

To say we live in interesting times sounds a bit euphemistic. Some predictable boredom might be welcome! But historically, upheaval, suffering and conflict were often the norm. The oldest members of our community faced invasion by hostile foes. Most of our ancestors lived in times of plague, war, and religious intolerance. The philosopher Thomas Hobbes described our lives as largely ‘nasty, brutish and short’.

But we now live in a country that helps the neediest – even if it struggles to do so sufficiently. Certainly, we have the technology and knowledge to enable healthier, longer existences – and more choice to pursue them. While inequality grows, our living standards have in the long-run grown across the board. Our hard-pressed health service, for example, remains the envy of the world. Our cups may not be overflowing, but they are filled higher than those of almost all our predecessors. The threats of terrorism and environmental destruction are huge problems, but politically and economically, our country remains one of the world’s most affluent and free.

One important antidote to our current social malaise may be for us to re-connect with what we have in common with those around us rather than our differences.

For me, an episode of Gogglebox reminds me that regardless of gender, religion, culture and age – most people are decent, likeable and sensible! Perhaps it’s the circumstances rather than the people that are the real problem. The most divisive issues are often separated by shades of grey.

Spreading the love in small ways has a positive psychological value as well as making the community a happier place. The power of a smile or kind gesture to those less fortunate can be wonderful therapy to both giver and receiver. Compassion and tolerance hold communities together, but political tension has undoubtedly inflamed unfair and harsh feelings about different classes and cultures. Being a builder of little bridges within your own can help heal these rifts. Strong communities are often founded on a sense of common purpose and an ability to draw on all its rich influences. Cities like London and New York are good examples of how this largely works and is exhibited by the pride its many different peoples have in belonging to it.

These existential stresses can be countered in good ways and bad. In times of strife, some seek refuge in habits bringing short-term consolation such as alcohol, drugs, or comfort eating. Others deal more directly with the issues by voicing their discontent. How we do so involves treading a fine line between easing or adding to the problem.

If you’re struggling to identify solutions to your worldly stresses, your friends and family may help you discover what you can and cannot more usefully do with your life. Local counselling services can provide a professional neutral space to helpfully review your ambitions and contributions to the world. Small changes in our home world can make a positive difference. Ultimately, following our dreams after identifying what we can control immeasurably improves our sense of well-being. Wilfully ignoring events in society, I believe, only reduces the boundaries of places in which we can flourish.

That said, pursuing our hobbies and passions is perhaps more important than ever – whatever goes on outside. It can bring personal satisfaction and help work off the frustrations of matters outside our control. The ripple effect of a happier you will benefit everyone. And for me, the darker prophesies of our future seem far less oppressive when I accept that I can only do my best and know that I have endeavoured to do so. We can choose to see the world in a rosy or gloomy light, but only one of those options tends to make it a better place for all.